Listened to comedy this morning.

So a few random thoughts that I have decided to vent this morning:At what age do you decide to cut your kid off from breast milk? I heard this morning breast feeding is better for your kid, then formula. Well no shit, but at what age do you cut the kid off. I'm not gonna lie, I think I was 2 or 3 when my mom said "NO MORE TIT FOR YOU!" Maybe thats why I'm such an ass man now? I'm not gonna lie, I love me a great big ass. Anyway, I've heard some cases that the kid is like 13 or 14, still asking for breast milk. At this point, it has to be more of a chore, to breast feed your kid, then it is a pleasure. "Timmy wake up, you need to get your breast milk, before school." Better yet, he wakes up his mom in the middle of the night, saying he wants some milk. I mean you can't send the kid to school, and be like "Tell all you friends, you are still breast feeding." Can't do that, it's a secret. "Timmy, you can't tell anybody you still suck on mommies teet."

I missed my true calling, stand up comedy. Listening to radio this morning, and this stand up comedian is on, just doing his thing, and I'm like "Fuck this guy is funny, I'm gonna go home and not be funny. Put that shit up on my blog, that none of my friends follow, and then put it up on FB. This way they can all suffer from me not being funny." You can now say I have issues, cause I talk to myself. But don't lie, you know you all do it. Just imagine this fat fuck, of a stuttering blabbering bastard, up on stage trying to tell jokes? I'd be sweating worse then Chinese kids, in a Nike sweat shop. Stuttering through every joke, and pretty soon, I'd be knocked out by a beer bottle. At least the audience would hope so. I don't give a fuck what you all say, I'm pretty funny.

Getting old sucks. this morning I looked in mirror, and thought, I still look pretty decent. Then I made a face, Yes I make faces in mirror, this is natural. I used to love to look at myself when I was younger. Though I never did get into watching myself masturbate. I really don't see the point. Chicks I get, they look good with the faces they make, while being pleasured. Men, they just look creepy. Mad face: that face comes out when we are drunk, and can't muster the stamina to keep our arm going to finish.
Sad face: well I watched 30 seconds of my new porn. I spent money on this why?
Relieved face:Girl friend catches you stroking it, and decides she is gonna bang you. Happy face will follow.
Anyway, made face in mirror, and I'm seeing lines, in my face, and I'm like. Shit, I'm 27, and seeing this? The sun is doing me wrong.

Well I think I'm done..... for now. I'll be back again.

Rapid fire!

I've been thinking, the first lady:Michelle Obama, has an issue with fast food places. Maybe her real issue, shouldn't be with fast food, but with parents. Oh sure McDonald's, and BK, are those....Oh cover your eyes, I'm gonna say it. Big scary corporation, but are they really to blame for us being fat? Super Size Me, even proved more so how eating McDonald's every day is unhealthy. Now there is a new movie out, saying, what he ate, really wasn't that much. But of course this movie went straight to DVD, cause god forbid we help fast food. I don't know if you heard, but they are evil. I digress, I blame us, and for our fat kids, I blame the parents. This is the problem in America, nobody takes responsibility for their actions anymore. I'm fat, I can tell you why I'm fat. No, Mr.Brant, it's not your fault your fat, it's those big evil corporations. Oh yes, you are right Mrs.Obama. they force me to eat that big mac, they said if I didn't eat it, they'd shoot me. Get out of here, I'm fat...Cause I don't exercise enough, I eat too much, I drink sometimes, and I sit on my ass, most of the day. That is why, I'm fat. See what I just did, that's called. Brace yourself, taking responsibility for my actions. We should all teach our kids this. Now parents, you have fat kids, well this is kinda your fault, not fast food. First mistake, you don't feed your kid properly. Timmy wants 5 big macs, I'm gonna get him 5 big macs. Maybe when the kid is 3, you teach them portion control, and at 5. They have this down, and they won't want 5 big macs. I know people, I'm blowing your mind. You can feed a family on fast food every night, I don't agree with it. I think you should have at least 1 home cooked meal a week. But you can feed them fast food, every night, and keep them from getting fat. Wanna know the secret?!?!?!?!?!? Exercise! Yes, 1 word. along with portion control, send your kid out for some....exercise, and they won't get fat. Or as fat... maybe. "Timmy, you just ate a big mac, go outside and play." Instead we feed our kids, crap, let them drink soda, and they sit in front of the TV, playing video games, or watching mindless television with us. We are lazy, we go to BK, cause we are lazy. Our kids don't exercise, cause we are lazy. We are fat, cause we are lazy. Parents don't wanna go play tag with their kids, instead we rather have our kids watch Jersey Shore....with us. But no, it's not our lack of parenting, that has our kids fat. It's cause of big evil corporations.

Online bullying? You are joking right? This is a big issue, to our government. Granted some college kid, did go out and kill himself, cause his room mate secretly recorded him having sex.....It was gay sex, it was all over the Internet, he killed himself. This was a college kid though, I've heard online bullying being done to 8 year olds. Give me a fucking break. This is not a government fixed problem. Laws are not gonna stop kids, from being mean. If your kid, comes up to you, and says "mom, dad, this kid is bullying me online." Look at your kid, and say "Get the fuck off the Internet then." Or "Well son, block him from talking to you." I don't get why our kids are online unsupervised, at age 8, anyway. Oh, yeah I do, cause I'd rather watch dancing with the stars, then spend time with my offspring. This all comes back to being lazy, being mindless. We were all kids once, we know kids are ruthless. I was picked on in school, I still turned out alright. I don't kill people, I don't cut myself, or others. I'm pretty fucking normal. So stop being more worried about when Teen mom, is on, and worry about your fucking kids.

MTV, I have a whole issue with them, I posted a blog about them on my space.....Yes I said MYSPACE. They are ruining society. Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, OC, Real World, Road Rules. You get my point, all crap. What happened to Nova, I think MTV should do it's retarded viewers a favor, and show nova once a week. With all that crap they show, they should be forced to show, something that will help me learn, once a week. I'm gonna write my congressman, and tell him. No I'm not, this is back to parenting. I'm so sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions. Hell, what happened to losing in school? Well son, you lost...in everything. Football? You got cut. Baseball? you sucked, you got cut. Basketball? Yeah, you sucked at that too, cut. You just aren't meant to play sports. No instead we get an award. Best loser, you are the worst at everything, and therefor. You are the best loser. We wonder why kids have no backbone, don't stand up, when being picked on. We coddle them, baby them, never make them get tough. At some point, you have to be mean. Parents back in the day, were mean, when they needed to be. Now you can't even spank.....YOUR OWN FUCKING KID! My dad, he tore me down, a few times, then built me backup. I'm a better man for it. Mom did the same thing. They didn't coddle me, and try to protect me from everything, and every bully in life. They did a damn fine job, and i think I do alright. Let's take some responsibility in life, for our actions. You get a girl knocked up, be a father to your kid, and be a gentleman to your kids mother. These are simple things in life. I'm no brain surgeon, but even I can figure some shit out.

No I'm not a parent, no I'm not a teacher, no I'm not a bully. That is all.